Maybe it was rash. But I won't take any of it back. This, perhaps, is more of an elaboration than anything.
It was Agnes that added me as a writer. It was Agnes and I that had to feal with the first SDC takeover. For almost a year, it was only us teo doing any of the posts at all. Nobody could contact Jenna. Neither of us dared touch anything for fear of her kicking us off and shutting down the blog for good.
It is me that goes through the mod panel approving - sometimes days-old, if I took a break - pending messages, deleting bullying, and so on.
It was me that had to shut down threads whenever there were trolls, or arguments. It was me that stayed up past 3am many times to deal with the arguments and frustrations. It was me that had to be the bad guy when people kept on breaking the rules.
It was me that, when smw got completely shut down and deserted, put in time and effot to re-start the blog. To get new members and advertise on facebook and instagram, to receuit new writers, to remove people from the writing team who didn't want to be there.
It was me that fixed the blog code when it kept crashing. It was me that decided on weekly chats when the "permanent" one was taken over by sdc bullies for a second time.
And where was Jenna?
Studying, apparently.
And no, I have no bitterness about that whatsoever, because, same.
What I am bitter about - and what I know Agnes was bitter about too - was being quite dismissed when Jenna came back. I lost he ability to add and remove writers. I lost the ability to fix the many things you all keep complaining about.
I was the one that got pms insulting my intelligence, my doll, my work here. I was the one who had to repeatedly tell people that Jenna LIKED the pink-on-black and that, no, I could not and would not be changing it.
But more than that, I'm just pissed off.
Because, irl, I've almost lost my apartment and my car. Because other people went behind my back to say and do things without consulting me. I can't afford another car and I can't afford to spend time and money trying to find another home. So I'm having to sell off a lot of my stuff to get enough to put a downpayment on it all over again.
So to have people going behind my back to complain about things is bullshit. To have it go through Jenna feels plain insulting. I'm already dealing with the results of such asholish behavior, I don't need more of it online too.
Have I not done enough to earn a little respect? Evidently not.
And even without all that, a large number of those I stayed on for are or have left anyway. And, yes, I've mentioned to a number of people that I have considered leaving- even put in on Chat one week. But nobody seemed to notice or take it even half seriously.
As for whether I want the blog to close - no. I don't.
But I don't believe it should go on as it was. It should never have become my sole responsibility to keep this space alive. It shoudl never have been put on Agnes either, or even Jenna.
It is not a healthy or happy space, nor has it been for quite some time.
And I will not be returning.
It was Agnes that added me as a writer. It was Agnes and I that had to feal with the first SDC takeover. For almost a year, it was only us teo doing any of the posts at all. Nobody could contact Jenna. Neither of us dared touch anything for fear of her kicking us off and shutting down the blog for good.
It is me that goes through the mod panel approving - sometimes days-old, if I took a break - pending messages, deleting bullying, and so on.
It was me that had to shut down threads whenever there were trolls, or arguments. It was me that stayed up past 3am many times to deal with the arguments and frustrations. It was me that had to be the bad guy when people kept on breaking the rules.
It was me that, when smw got completely shut down and deserted, put in time and effot to re-start the blog. To get new members and advertise on facebook and instagram, to receuit new writers, to remove people from the writing team who didn't want to be there.
It was me that fixed the blog code when it kept crashing. It was me that decided on weekly chats when the "permanent" one was taken over by sdc bullies for a second time.
And where was Jenna?
Studying, apparently.
And no, I have no bitterness about that whatsoever, because, same.
What I am bitter about - and what I know Agnes was bitter about too - was being quite dismissed when Jenna came back. I lost he ability to add and remove writers. I lost the ability to fix the many things you all keep complaining about.
I was the one that got pms insulting my intelligence, my doll, my work here. I was the one who had to repeatedly tell people that Jenna LIKED the pink-on-black and that, no, I could not and would not be changing it.
But more than that, I'm just pissed off.
Because, irl, I've almost lost my apartment and my car. Because other people went behind my back to say and do things without consulting me. I can't afford another car and I can't afford to spend time and money trying to find another home. So I'm having to sell off a lot of my stuff to get enough to put a downpayment on it all over again.
So to have people going behind my back to complain about things is bullshit. To have it go through Jenna feels plain insulting. I'm already dealing with the results of such asholish behavior, I don't need more of it online too.
Have I not done enough to earn a little respect? Evidently not.
And even without all that, a large number of those I stayed on for are or have left anyway. And, yes, I've mentioned to a number of people that I have considered leaving- even put in on Chat one week. But nobody seemed to notice or take it even half seriously.
As for whether I want the blog to close - no. I don't.
But I don't believe it should go on as it was. It should never have become my sole responsibility to keep this space alive. It shoudl never have been put on Agnes either, or even Jenna.
It is not a healthy or happy space, nor has it been for quite some time.
And I will not be returning.
